I’ve been thinking a lot about fulfillment and satisfaction recently. It’s been creeping into my awareness, like the light from a sunrise starts to blend into the sky at dawn.
I started to question the little things I was choosing to do everyday and if they brought satisfaction or not. Then it grew to beyond the smaller things and started encompassing all aspects of my life.
This may not be a new thing for you, for me it’s revolutionary. I’ve started to realize that I didn’t think it was possible to do or have things that fulfill me in life. I had made it up in my head that doing things I love was a fantasy and that even people who claimed to have that were not wise enough to realize that they were just fooling themselves.
How naive I am and have been, how surprising it is to see that I was missing out so much. Now that I understand this better, I realize that I’ve held myself back from coming to this understanding sooner as it comes with a lot of grief and feelings of loss.
I am understanding now that it’s easy to find satisfaction when I start to choose it for myself, even if it’s just in the small things I do throughout the day. It also amazes me that I have the ability to radically make changes in this moment to support my satisfaction rather than continuing to build and live off of an old idea/paradigm that is outdated.
As I sit with this, the inevitable question of “what to do” comes up. That has been an enormous block for me. In my past reality, I have had to figure out what to do before I do anything. I have many ideas but which one is “the one” that will be the magic life path? I’ve let that query keep me in a relative holding pattern of procrastination and stagnation.
What I’m now realizing, after many years of indecision and waiting, is that I don’t need to worry about the what. Even if I just choose small and simple things that feel satisfying and easeful, things flow and fall into place without having a clue how it will happen. Even more than what events or things happen in my life, I find that I feel at ease and inline with my joy and that brings new opportunities and insights into future choices.